


Win-Win

by youjik33



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 05:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5993566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youjik33/pseuds/youjik33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael is wrong, as usual. Valentine's Day absolutely is a competition, and Gob is determined to win.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Win-Win

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Doyle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doyle/gifts).



"What the hell is this?" Michael asked, pushing his way through a forest of ribbon filling up the model home's foyer. There were at least a hundred red and white balloons floating around the ceiling.

"Michael!" Gob called in greeting from somewhere in the living room. Michael couldn't actually see him, since he was blocked by a six-foot-tall plywood heart. It was covered in red paint and glitter and looked unbelievably tacky, even in the grand scheme of Gob's stage props.

"Are you doing some kind of Valentine's-themed show?" Michael asked, ducking as a dove swooped past his head.

"A _private_ show, Michael, so you'd better clear out of here before Tony shows up. I'm going to win Valentine's Day for sure."

"Gob, it isn't a competition- you know what, forget I bothered saying that, I don't feel like arguing." There was a hiss of air from somewhere behind the heart prop as Gob filled another balloon with helium. "How much did that helium tank cost?"

"Relax, Michael. It's going to be totally worth it to see the look on Tony's face when I drop these balloons out of nowhere."

"If you want to drop them, why are you filling them with helium?"

Gob poked his head from around the plywood heart, his eyes wide as he took in the floating mass. "...it's going to be totally worth it to see the look on Tony's face when these balloons float up out of nowhere. Okay, so I'm going to have to rewrite things a little, no problem. The sparklers are going to be even better, anyway."

"...well, I guess it's a good thing helium is flame-retardant."

"I can't believe you, Michael. That is so offensive. You don't get a free pass to say things like that just because you dated one once."

Michael just stared at him. _Not worth it,_ he reminded himself. "I just stopped by to get dressed. I have dinner with Rebel tonight, and don't worry, I'm going to be staying over at her place. You have the house all to yourselves. Just try not to burn anything down."

  


Gob grumbled to himself as he finished his preparations, but his annoyance at Michael was quickly overwhelmed by excitement, even if he did fail to get all the balloons off the ceiling. He'd wrangled the escaped dove into the trap door on the back of the heart prop and dropped in a handful of birdseed to keep it content when the doorbell rang. It was only five c'lock – an hour earlier than he'd asked Tony to come over – but it didn't surprise him.

When he pulled the door open, though, the only thing on the stoop was a small wheeled metal cart holding a cake box. Gob opened the lid of the box cautiously, waiting for a blast of glitter or something, but the cake box contained an actual cake, round with chocolate frosting. It was decorated with bees, piped in yellow and black icing, clutching little hearts, surrounding and the message _BEE MY VALENTINE_. Gob cleared his throat, stepped back to make room for the inevitable smoke bomb, and asked loudly, "I wonder who sent this?"

There was a bang from behind him, and Gob whirled in surprise.

"Did somebody say 'wonder'?" Tony said, grinning.

Gob was beside himself. "How did you-- where did you even--" (If he'd been a little calmer he might have realized that Tony was standing right in front of the kitchen island, and one cupboard was still hanging slightly ajar.) "I was sure you were going to pop out of the cake!"

Tony looked down at the cake, which stood about 3" tall. "Expect the unexpected," he said. "Anyway, why waste a perfectly good cake?"

He was in ridiculously tight skinny jeans, and a dark red dress shirt unbuttoned just enough to show off a little chest hair. Gob stared at that exposed bit of chest for several full seconds before he remembered his plan. The cake was a great surprise, but he was still going to be the one to win Valentine's Day.

"I got you something too," he said. "I can't remember which of the great poets said it first, but love lifts us up where we belong." At this point, the front hall closet was supposed to burst open, and the balloons were supposed to come pouring out, but the fishline Gob had rigged up to discreetly pull open the door didn't actually seem to work. Undeterred, he walked over and pulled the door open himself. His annoyance evaporated when he saw the look of awe on Tony's face.

"That is a _shit ton_ of balloons," he said.

"Yeah it is," Gob said. Even though he'd been dating Tony for months, he still couldn't keep the dopey, lovesick grin off his face.

"I also got you these." Tony pulled a bunch of carnations out of his sleeve.

"Oh? Well, I got you these." Gob pulled an even bigger bunch out of his coat. He wasn't going to be outdone, not today.

"I also got you--" Tony pulled a full dozen roses out from behind his back. Gob was impressed, but his admiration quickly melted away when he noticed the way Tony was grimacing.

"What's wrong?"

"Fuuuuuuck," Tony hissed. "I should not have put roses down my pants. At least not while they still had their thorns. Shit, that stings. Can you help me get my pants off?"

"Kinda skipping ahead there, huh?" Gob joked, but he did as he was asked.

They both got distracted pretty quickly after that. Gob entirely forgot about the rest of his act. Ultimately, though, he decided the day was a mutual win.

  


The next day, well after noon, Michael pushed the door open slowly, bracing himself for the worst. There were flowers strewn all over the foyer. A dove pecked at a half-eaten cake sitting on the kitchen island. Partially deflated balloons floated knee-high across the floor, carried around on invisible air currents like misshapen alien ghosts. But nothing was on fire, and Gob and Tony weren't having sex in the middle of the living room. Between that and the great date he'd had, Michael couldn't help feeling a little bit victorious himself.

 


End file.
